Judge Attacked by Father’s Pet Zebra

Judge Attacked by Father’s Pet Zebra

Arkansas county judge, Mark Derrick, was attacked by his father’s pet zebra on Sunday March 15.

For me the strangest part of this story is that there is a judge young enough to have a father who is still living (and apparently well enough to maintain an exotic petting zoo).

If you’re attacked by a pet zebra, wallaby, kookaburra, kinkajou, bearded dragon, capybaras or pink fairy armadillo (yes that’s a real animal), don’t assume there’s nothing you can do.

If a bearded dragon bites your balls, you need to fight beard with beard. Call me, the Dense Beard of Justice, and I’ll help you sort out the mess involved in an exotic pet attack.

Police reported to the home of White County District Judge Mark Derrick claiming that the judge had been attacked by their pet zebra. The judge suffered injuries to his eye and arm and was transferred to Little Rock hospital.

Authorities did say that there will be no legal action taken for this incident. Mainly due to the fact that it is unclear whether having a pet zebra is illegal in Searcy, Arkansas, which is where the family houses the zebra.

In Searcy, Arkansas it is illegal to have any wild animal within city limits, yet authorities are not able to decide if a zebra qualifies as a wild animal.

Wild animal would be defined as an animal that is incapable of being completely domesticated and require exercising of art, force or skill to keep it in subjugation.

So the question still remains as to if the family pet zebra is allowed on the premises of the home and a decision has yet to be made.

If 10-year-old me had to prove zebras could be domesticated to win a court case, I would have used the old Swiss Family Robinson movie. But one of the biggest disappointments of growing older and wiser is discovering that zebra was just a horse that had been painted.

Erg,lg


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